It was revealed last night by Binty Carruthers-Smythe, founder member of the Bullingdon Club, that the entire Conservative Party Manifesto was, in effect, a giant rag week prank.
"Yah" said Binty, inhaling on a hookah pipe in an insalubrious smoking den in Central London, where artistes, bohemians and general ne'er-do-wells gather, "We were all getting completely off our tits on Tequila in 87, right, and someone said to Davey C 'wouldn't it be great, yah, if you could perform some kinda media terrorism thing, convince enough of the public of something completely ludicrous'. So we had a big talk about Situationism, and The Society of the Spectacle and all that guff and then someone had the great idea of convincing everyone that any problems in society are the fault of the government, and not Jonty Maxwell-Fyffe's dad, who owns Allied Amalgamated Satan inc (formerly Lehmann Brothers). It kinda grew from there, you know?"
We tried to contact seniour Conservative politicians to confirm or deny this, but apparently they were all on a retreat in the country, trying to see how many bread rolls they could stuff up Nicky Nacky-Noo's arse. For charity.
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